The Sporting Life

After fighting the urge for three days, PeppermintPickle puts the world of sports in the spotlight. 

Tiger or Tigger

The only thing more strange then the events that continue to unfold surrounding the Tiger Woods car accident/"domestic dispute,' is how people (media and regular folk alike) are  the viewing the story.

From the very beginning, media outlets have done a horrible job of getting the facts straight and, more egregiously, ignoring common sense when it stares them in the face.

The initial report had Tiger involved in a "serious" car accident near his home in Florida, with all reports trumpeting the "heroic" actions of his wife, Elin, who we were told "smashed the window of her husband's Cadillac Escalade with a golf club and pulled an unconscious Tiger from the wreckage, before calling authorities." 

We now know a few things for certain: a neighbor, not Mrs. Woods, made the 911 call. Mrs. Woods did not play the "Diana Princess"-role that initial reports portrayed. And, the full extent of Tiger's injuries could not be traced to his car accident.

I will go no further on the "facts" of the case, but since I am not beholden to anyone, I will share my OPINION of what i think of things thus far.

IF. . . Mrs. Woods physically abused Tiger, the fact that he is a man and a professional athlete (and therefore "strong") should not diminish the criminality of such an act. As I stated on my Facebook page yesterday, if Mrs. Woods had a car accident and the subsequent investigation held suspicion that her injuries were consistent physical abuse, we are not discussing this story in the context of whether or not "it's all a private family matter." Of that we can be certain.

IF. . .Tiger crashed his 2009 Cadillac Escalade SUV into a tree, at low speed (his air bags did not deploy), thus requiring his golf-club swinging wife to rescue him from the vehicle because windows wouldn't roll down and doors would not open, then I think it's the BIGGEST PUBLIC RELATIONS DISASTER FOR ONSTAR* ("standard in ALL GM VEHICLES") IN HISTORY!!!

Since I have to hear (and struggle through) all those "real life" radio ads where some child is crying because his mother has just hit a tree (Tiger hit a tree AND a hydrant!) and the OnStar operator calls the police, ambulance, opens the door, makes cocoa for the child, sings them a their favorite song, downloads the latest Pixar movie onto the cars entertainment system to calm the child and sends an electronic doctor's note to the adults job, letting them know she'll be off for a few day. . . the least they could do is open the damn door of the World's Most Famous Driver (Ali can't drive ya'll)!!! I am calling B.S. on OnStar for this!

IF. . . You believe Mrs. Woods is somehow smart because she messed up his face, but not his hands, arms or legs "because she didn't want to harm his golf career or earning potential. Consider this: Tiger Woods makes roughly $18-30 Million per-year from playing professional golf, another $12-15 Million in appearance fees and the remainder, $60-95 million per year, from endorsement/marketing fees. The PGA season runs from April to September, so the time between October and Early April is used to produce materials for those lucrative marketing campaigns (ie. the lions share of his income). Which is done with his FACE! Please don't give this woman credit where it is undeserved. She was, if indeed she beat Tiger, acting irrationally, passionately and foolishly.  

IF. . . You believe Mrs. Woods will be seen at any of those award ceremonies, held at the 18th hole after a tournament, when Tiger wins next year, YOU ARE OUT OF YOUR MIND! Glenn Close cooking rabbits does not make for good Sunday evening television.

IF. . . You believe I don't know that you have thought of Orenthal James Simpson at least once since this story broke, you would be lying to yourself. LOL!

IF. . . You think TMZ won't get to the bottom of this, ask the Jackson Family,Melvin Gibson Christian Bale , or any number of celebs that have called the slime ball gossip site a liar. All were proved wrong in the end. In the end, is a celebrity going to their housekeeper a $50,000 tip, just to "keep things between us?" No! TMZ knows that, which is why they spread the cash around liberally and loudly. When news leaked that TMZ had paid one of MJ's housekeepers almost $500,000 for information, every person in Hollywood with a broom in their hand took note. BELIEVE DAT!

Chicago Bears

Is there any wonder why we loved him, so? He had all the look of James Evans and NONE of the FIYAHHH!!!!!

Coach Lovie Smith must go because he fired the Defensive Coordinator, Ron Rivera, when the defense was ranked 3rd in the league, hired his buddy Bob Babich, who took that defense and ranked 18th last year, then took over the play calling himself this year and currently ranks 24th. 

His dependence upon oft injured players (Brian Uhlacher, Tommie Harris, Mike Brown and Dusty Dvoracek) year after year, without planning for their imminent demise, is foolish, not resolve.

Also packing their bags should be: 

Ron Turner, who is as predictable as Mentos and Dr Pepper, though results are always far less explosive.

Jerry Angelo, who, barring Devin Hester and Jay Cutler, has been HORRIBLE at acquiring talent. Yes, I know not everyone can draft well in the 5th round, but equally unique is his penchant for drafting horrible IN THE FIRST 3 ROUNDS!

Every player except: Devin Hester, Lance Briggs, Jay Cutler, Matt Forte and Johnny Knox. Everyone else MUST GO!

Our next coach should be Ron Rivera and he should hire CHARLIE WEIS as Offensive Coordinator. Rivera could shore up the defense and would come cheap (would the McCaskey's have it any other way?).

Weis is a proven offensive genius and has developed the following players into what they are: Vinny Testaverde (Jets), Drew Bledsoe (cut his INT's, from 26 year before, to 11), Tom Brady (6th round pick to MVP), Brady Quinn (1st round draft pick) and Jimmy Clausen (1st round draft pick).

We have bet the house, as a franchise, on Jay Cutler being the savior of our franchise. Don't you think having the proper coaching is essential to him getting his mojo back. I think Cutler will listen to Weis for the same reason everyone else has, he made Tom Brady.

And speaking of Weis. . .

Notre Dame

Notre Dame finally fired that bloviating gas bag of a pile of arrogance and bluster, Charlie Weis. Yes, i want him to go and help turn around the fortunes of my beloved Bears, but as the head coach of the Fighting Irish, I HATED THIS MAN. Everything about him.

When he came on the scene he was so full of himself, with what he would do for this program. How he would "restore the luster" and "bring back pride." He said 6-6 or 6-5 was "unacceptable at a school like Notre Dame." "I am coming here," he stated unequivocally, "to win championships." In the end, he was, to borrow a George W. Bush quote, "all hat and no cattle."

The press conference was almost as embarrassing as his tenure, with talk such as, "Charlie has actually won a National Championship while at Notre Dame...the Graduation Rate National Championship" and, quite hilariously, "We'll Miss Him" by the Athletic Director who inherited this nightmare two years ago, Jack Swarbrick.

Swarbrick was not around to enjoy that ephemeral moment in 2005, when the Irish LOST to Mighty USC, at a time when the Trojans were the #1 ranked team in the country. The unyielding glee by the Golden Dome faithful at not getting run out of the building, led to Weis getting a contract extension IN THE FIRST YEAR of his contract at the school. Had they waited, they could have walked away from him after his third season, when the Irish finished 3-9, or after the option year (4th) when the Irish "improved" to 6-6. Which according to Charlie, was "unacceptable." But such Irrational Exuberance  led to more than trouble in Wall Street's financial markets, they end up owing the man they have just fired roughly $15 - 17 million. . . to do nothing.

Make no mistake about it, the Charlie Weis-era has been disastrous at Notre Dame. Zero wins vs. rival USC, zero wins against ranked teams, multiple losses to Service Academies, losses to horribly under-manned and inferior teams such as Syracuse, Pittsburgh and Connecticut, and zero development of any talent on the defensive side of the ball. Charlie was going to score so many points on the opposition, defense would be unnecessary. 

Well Gene Wilder has something to say about that:

In the end we are left with a once-proud program, searching for ways to make the "g=Great Experiment" seem somewhat successful by stating he "did it the right way." Hell, i didn't know Ty Willingham had players selling crack and stripping for money before ol' Charlie came to town? Willingham, also, was a disaster, but he had come from Stanford, not the 1996 Dallas Cowboys, as some would have you believe. He was doing things the right way as well.

So what do they do now? They give Urban Meyer $4.5 million per year (and make him Lt. Governor of Indiana) to leave Florida and come back to his alma-mater. Or, more realistically, you hire University of Cincinnati Coach Brian Kelly. As a Cincinnati resident, let me assure you, THIS MAN IS BELOVED and universally hailed as a football genius. And that was BEFORE this season, when his team sits undefeated, with an outside chance of playing for the very National Championship Charlie promised 5 years ago. 

He really wants the job and most of the city has resigned itself to losing him. I suggest, should Charlie become a coordinator in the NFL, he call in sick on days he plays the Bengals in Cincinnati because people here have spent the entire year hating his guts. His losing ways were followed closely, and warily, by the entire populace of southern-Ohio, as each loss brought the idea of losing Kelly closer to reality. 

Because we know what Jack Swarbrick needs to know, Kelly is the right man for that job.